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Hey there gorgeous.

you have stumbled upon the secret diary of jiali :D

welcome.

29th May, 2009
Dear Diary,

i went to the singapore flyer on a friday and that is why this notebook you've looking at now has a post-it-note stuck to it saying 'flyer friday'. i think alliterations are awesome, dont you think so too? i hope you do, 'cause if not i'll attempt to crush you with my little pinky. it tells me to remember the sweet times i've had with a guy called zhnqn. that's his name with the vowels stashed out. i hope i can remember his name and his face and his shoulder and his big big palm that i used to hold, should i turn old and get stricken by dementia someday.

it sounds creepy to be old, doesn't it? D:
we ate yummy red strawberries coated with dark chocolate as adults call 'fondue'. i think they really nice and i like them alot. mayb someday i'll open a chocolatier and i'll name it zhnqn. people wont know how to pronounce it and that's gnna be the cool thing about it :D

zHnQn. ZhNqN. ZHNQN. zhnqn.
sounds good any way, doesnt it! :D

k tht's th end for today i hope i wont get dementia when i grow old.
byebye.

xoxo,
♥ jiali

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

replies to tags.

Friday, August 17, 2007 @ 10:39 PM

cca. super emo-ed.
and gahhs. realised that harry cant go for cca tmrw.
which means. we sadly proclaim that we cant do video.
as a group. GAHHS><
&thats like terrible news.

and i cant do the robo presentation for nuts.
with harry and his firewall.
that freaking does not allow him to use msn.
and yunzheng who appears offline.
and nvr seems online to me at all.
we were givn till tues.
and that's our latest deadline.
and i reallaye dont wna let the excos and the prev excos down.
i srsly wna at least show thm smth.
at least.
but can i?!

th qn kept swinging in my mind.
but thr was no answer.
my mind- was blank.
because i really dont know.
and i really have no confidence.
i just know how to put up a brave front.
and to nod my head thru th whole thg.
w a smile on my face.
but deep down inside..
i.really.dont.know.

and my world. seems like its crumbling.
all my support, whr has it gone.
i.really.dont.know.

i have bio.
i have jap.
i have math.
i have cid.
i have njrc.
i.really.dont.know.

&2a's doing jingwumen.
i really wna do it well.
and learn it well.
but do i evn have the time to?
guess what. i hvnt watched the mv evr since mr chia showed it to us during pdp on wed.
whn i go round telling others to.
i really dont wna disappoint them.

thr are just too many things.
they come all at once.
and she once thought she could handle them.
but somehow;
evythng lost control.
evythng. just lost control.

she had fallen.
right to th ground.

th cold, hard feeling.

she had fallen.
and she really doesnt knw what to do.
and who can help her.

&i never thought i'd; need you thr whn i cried.

today. was srsly emo-ed.
nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.
is that all you can do whn you see that your daughter is alr feeling like she's in hell?!
whn she feels down.
whn she feels all alone.
whn she shows no sign of high-ness.
like her usual style.
you spot nothing amiss.

whn you dont see your daughter revising,
does that mean that she's NEVER revising?!
all you know. is not to understand.
anw. you had never learnt to understand.
you dont evn give anyone else a chance to explain.
evythg is all yours.
yeah, you win, okay?!

and now.
the battle's lost.
you're feeling happy.
you're feeling so proud.
you're feeling so full of yourself.

but what about your daughter?!
you've never realised how totallaye stressed out she was.
or rather, you didnt evn bother to find out.

enough.
i cant bear to cont anymore.

let th rain fall down, &wake my dreams.

let it wash away, my sanity.

cos i wna feel the thunder, i wna scream.

let th rain fall down, im comin clean.

&because. she really doesnt know.

{replies to taggs}
malcolm: huhh. emo will drop hair de worhx. omg die nvr knw lehs i today emo so much ler can. die. i dont wna drop hair ><"