PROFILE♥ ENTRIES♥ TAGBOARD♥ LINKS♥ ARCHIVES♥ CREDITS♥

Hey there gorgeous.

you have stumbled upon the secret diary of jiali :D

welcome.

29th May, 2009
Dear Diary,

i went to the singapore flyer on a friday and that is why this notebook you've looking at now has a post-it-note stuck to it saying 'flyer friday'. i think alliterations are awesome, dont you think so too? i hope you do, 'cause if not i'll attempt to crush you with my little pinky. it tells me to remember the sweet times i've had with a guy called zhnqn. that's his name with the vowels stashed out. i hope i can remember his name and his face and his shoulder and his big big palm that i used to hold, should i turn old and get stricken by dementia someday.

it sounds creepy to be old, doesn't it? D:
we ate yummy red strawberries coated with dark chocolate as adults call 'fondue'. i think they really nice and i like them alot. mayb someday i'll open a chocolatier and i'll name it zhnqn. people wont know how to pronounce it and that's gnna be the cool thing about it :D

zHnQn. ZhNqN. ZHNQN. zhnqn.
sounds good any way, doesnt it! :D

k tht's th end for today i hope i wont get dementia when i grow old.
byebye.

xoxo,
♥ jiali

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 @ 7:26 PM

ohyeah, baybeh, im RICHER.
but only by a small deal {:
anw, it's still money, right ! :DD

went to collect my scholarship thingum.
th bad thing was tht i've got this swollen-like-a-PIG mouth.
&thr was this stupid phototaking session. damn luh.
so if th picture ends up in th magazine/montage/whatever-shit-they-call-it (hey, my bro appeared thr three years ago. but tht was th very last time cos he couldnt get th scholarship for th past 2 years. wakaka.), and if you see this girl in white shirt with this really swollen mouth- it's confirm plus chop me. like, wth. gah luh. just blame myself for eating th wrong things and causing this stupid infection.

no, blame it on my parents' genes. had they not have such weird problems, i would not have ended up with eczema (is tht how you spell it? i hope it is- oh fine, i wont bother checking it up either.) and i would not have ended up with this swollen-looking mouth on th eve of this night, and just a few days before tht taiwan trip- like darned again.

SIDENOTE: GAH, STOP WHINING. STOP SAYING THT IM USING SO MUCH OF COM. I'VE BEEN READING THOSE LIB BOOKS AS YOU'VE ORDERED ME TO. ISNT IT TIME FOR ME TO HAVE SOME USE OF THIS MACHINE ALR?! NOW I REALLY KNOW HOW TEENS CAN BE SO REBELLIOUS. BCOS TH PARENTS JUST DONT BOTHER LISTENING. THEY JUST DONT SEEM TO CARE.

as much as i want them to, tht is.

hey, i just cant seem to get enough from using th word 'stupid'.
but who cares luh right.

well anw, shall continue with my story.
yeah after th phototaking session, we all went for th movie.
thnnnnn i thought i sensed someone's presence.
(hey, a woman's sixth sense can be like, truly accurate at times okay. so never try to doubt it.)
but seriously, i didnt know who.
i just thought i would notice a familiar face.

somewhr.

and just RIGHT after i put on my specs, i faced up and saw someone- really familiar. but i didnt dare to confirm it was him. but thr was seriously a splitting resemblance betwn th two people. i finally gave up trying to steal a look at him again. yeah, i gave up cos i've realised who he was. weiping! haha :D

well guess he wasnt thr to collect th scholarship bah. bcos he didnt seem to be in th row with me. evn durng th phototaking session. maybe it was his sibling or smth. cos i thought i saw his brother. well, cant blame me cos i didnt wear my specs at tht point of time (erms, it was after th movie alr.) but apparently his bro is in NS (as suggested by malcolm). so maybe my eyes were really tht sadded w/o specs.

yeah, i've met andy, w/ his whole family. and apparently *in case you dont know. cos i highly doubt you know who he is. i've NEVER mentioned him before, not evn in front of my friends, for goodness sake. if you know him, it might be a real miracle. he's my pri schl snr, yeah.* he was thr to receive th scholarship thr as well. uhm, tht's obvious enough right -.o

and along with his mother, whose first words were - "eh, you're also here to collect th scholarship arh?! my son's score for this year is th best throughout his four whole years in hwachong lehs!" and i couldnt help but feel a sort of sniggering afterwards.

well yeah, guess i hvta agree with her. it's really clever and capable for this guy to handle such stuffs alone. self management. time managemet. self control. whatever crap. and for some moment, i was actually impressed (well, of course not by th way his mum spoke but..) by th way he actually managed stuffs.

he didnt have tht 'hwachong-ish' look at all. i actually thought he had more of an 'rv-ish' look.

fine, i dont know wht's wrong with my vocab these few days. i mean, what's w/ 'hwachong-ish' and 'rv-ish'?!

otherwise, he looked perfectly normal. i looked at him in th eye- for once. and looked down on my shoes again. i've always relented th way th parents complained how their children never aced the way they wanted them to, no matter how hard they worked, and no matter how high they climbed. and my parents know it. those oh-so-familiar high expectations.

but this time, things were getting a bit different. they were comparing ME and HIM. which is like, totally what the hell. guess i'll have my fantastico results from last year to thank. tht my parents can bring me around like a prize to chatter about.

"haha, yeah. hwachong's a good schl lah. my daughter was ranked TOP TEN in rv last year, so tht was why she's able to get this scholarship, i guess.."

pls note th special exaggeration of th words 'top ten in rv'.

now, tht- is my mother.
rebutting back to his mum's first comment.
comparing, comparing, and still comparing.
always.
it's just in her.

it brought a slight gaze from andy.

".. and she'll be going to NJ next year."

now this had certainly brought a different view from both his parents. th fathers stopped talking and glanced at us, upon hearing th word "NJ". it seemed almost magical how this word could prove to be so useful at such situations.

this time, it brought a long, hard stare from andy.
apparently, they all thought tht i was able to skip levels.
(as if im tht clever.. it was cos they didnt know thr was NJC IP, duh)
to join a JC albeit th fact tht im two years younger.
two years younger thn andy could.

a small crooked smile formed at th side of mum and dad's face.
while i almost feel like boxing their ears.
but instead i just decided scrunching myself up.

this ever so stereotypical thinking tht i hate.
this contradiction.
true enough, i like nj, i want to be a part of it- yes i do.
but i just dont like th way th adults make such huge speculation about it.
all they think is tht their X and Y genes had come tgt to form me.
so, obviously, i would be their prized possession.

just a possesion. nothing else.

".. yes, she's had th induction last week, and we bought th uniform and all alr.."

well this had surely brought a topic for them to talk on again.
plain bcos we both had th same uniform supplier.
like, -.o ?!?!

i rubbed my eyes fast.
i think i've had enough of this speculation alr.
i've had enough of being just a prize.

a mere.
prize.

th memory of the times we've once had together whn we were in concord were fading really fast. th only thing i could remember in concord was th first time i met him. seriously, i didnt know how i could even remember such things. i remember tht time, i was late for cca selection (well, if y'know i was from dance and i was late for th very first dance prac. uhm i was in pri1 loh, what'dya expect me to do). thn apparently th only cca tht still had its doors opened was art club (yes, it ended up as my second cca, thankyou very much, mrsmaureen tan.).

and it was whr i first met him.

yeah, eight years down th road, i still do remember how he taught me to use those oil pastels- those oil pastels tht i've pestered my mum to buy for me immediately after th first cca session. those oil pastels tht never failed to get me th winning prizes for art. those pastels tht instilled in me this 'art sense' i call. throughout these years, people have commented tht i draw 'stickman's even better thn others of my age (thanks to my parents, again.) yes, it's just this thg i call 'art sense'.

i guess these are th mere mmrs i once had of him, th caring senior who relentlessly aided me in art.

******

not to mention th fact tht he was my very first crush whn i was only in P1. i've never had crushes so easily y'know. bcos he was one who excelled in not only his studies, but also in th arts. he was practically my idol at tht point of time. nobody in this world actually even knows this, but if you're clever enough to highlight this part bcos you realise thr are weird, awkward black spaces in betwn th text, you'll know this darkest secret tht i've nver told anyone. promise to keep this secret, will you?

th only news i have of him is whn my mum tells me about his stunning results in hci (uhm, according to his mum of course). which i'd rather not hear, sometimes.

but somehow, i felt nothing much changed of him. for he was ever so amiable, sincere, and of course not forgetting caring. tht was smth i appreciated. far more than anything.

merci.

PLEASE SHUT UP, ALRIGHT. DAMN YOU.

anw it's clever of you to highlight th text.